Do you hear that? It’s the sound of QLD and NSW battling it out to decide which state is the most awesome. But QLD-NSW rivalry is about more than sport and it’s impossible for us to leave our competition on the footy field. It influences every part of our lives, including how we holiday.
A couple of weeks ago, I brought you 10 things a Queenslander would never say on holiday. But because I’m half New South Welshie too, I couldn’t let QLD have all the fun. So to even the playing field, here are 10 things someone from NSW would NEVER say on holiday outside their home state.
1. “Wow, what an amazing harbour!”
Look, I’m sure there are other amazing harbours in the world. Hong Kong, Seward, and Cape Town are famous for having some of the best. But they’re not a scratch on iconic Sydney Harbour. And don’t even talk to me about the Brisbane ‘River’. Sorry, not sorry.
2. “Gee, I wish we had national parks like this.”
No way! NSW is home to hundreds of incredible national parks, including the Blue Mountains National Park (site of the world-famous Three Sisters), Kosciuszko National Park (where you can climb Australia’s highest mountain), Lord Howe Island (a snorkelling and kayaking paradise with NO mobile reception – bonus), Warrumbungle National Park (Oz’s only ‘dark sky park’ for amazing stargazing), and Mungo National Park (a stark sand-and-clay landscape that was once the site of the world’s first human cremations). We New South Welshmen are absolutely spoilt with natural beauty and it takes a lot to impress us.
3. “You’re right – ‘togs’ does sound better than ‘cossie’”
Cossies trump togs. Scallops beat potato cakes. And devon crushes luncheon, fritz, polony, Windsor sausage, Belgium and stras (seriously, who says those last five?). Sorry, other states, but your regional words are just wrong.
4. “Yeah, this nightlife is great, but you know what would make it even better? Lockout laws!”
Sydney is awesome, but its silly CBD curfews? Not so much. You can always pick us Sydneysiders when we’re out for a big night in another city. After 1.30am, we’re the ones going in and out of pubs and clubs for any and every reason. We’re drunk on our own sense of freedom (and power).
5. “Wow, coffee is so cheap here!”
Apparently I’m some kind of un-Australian monster because, to me, all coffee tastes like sour brown sludge. But even I know Australia’s sour brown sludge is the best in the world, mostly because my friends and family won’t stop pining for it whenever they go overseas. There’s plenty of debate over where to find Australia’s best coffee, which I’m sure will never be resolved on taste alone (‘cause like I said, coffee is gross). But in 2016, the Takeaway Cappuccino Price Index (yes, it’s a thing) showed that Sydney was home to Australia’s cheapest cuppas. And in 2017, queue-dodging app Skip claimed Sydneysiders paid an average of 9% less for coffee than Melbournians. So if you’re going to drink the horrible stuff, you may as well do it in NSW where it’s cheaper 😉
6. “Whoa! Rent is so expensive here.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I laugh hysterically because otherwise I’ll burst into heaving, racking sobs that will terrify my co-workers. Sydney is now one of the most expensive cities in the world to live in, especially when it comes to buying or renting property. On the plus side, it means we get incredibly excited about any form of property that costs less than a cool mill, regardless of what – or where – it is. “Only $750,000 for a parking spot in Lichtenstein? I’ll take it!”
7. “Meh, squirrels. Give me an ibis any day.”
You know what? I’m taking a stand against ibis hate. They were here first and it’s not their fault we trashed their homes and forced them to live in tips. No, I don’t care if you think they’re dirty or if one stole your chips when you were a kid. This is a hill I’m willing to die on. A stinking garbage hill, covered in bin chickens.
But even I, with all my trash turkey passion, will admit that most cities have cuter urban wildlife friends. Like squirrels – those things are adorable. Until you see one that’s missing its tail fur. Then you realise they’re just chubby rats.
8. “I’ve never seen traffic like this before!”
Yeah, you have. You see it every day in Sydney. There are a lot of things that make Sydney awesome (and exciting… and cool… and beautiful…), but bumper-to-bumper traffic isn’t on the list.
9. “I wish there was a beach like this at home.”
There is. With more than 100 beaches in Sydney ALONE (which is waaay more than Brisbane has, by the way, even though it’s the capital of “beachy” QLD), NSW is a beach bum’s paradise. Whether it’s Palm Beach (aka Summer Bay) in Sydney with its Home and Away feels, Wategos Beach in Byron Bay with its chilled hippie vibes, or Pebbly Beach on the South Coast with its cute eastern grey kangaroos, there’s a NSW beach to suit every taste.
10. “You’re right, Random Queenslander. You guys *do* have the superior State of Origin team.”
Pfft. As if. We don’t care how many series you win (especially since you just steal NSW players anyway). Go NSW!
Feeling left out? Check out ’10 things Queenslanders NEVER say on holiday’.
