Meeting or catching up with long-lost (or long-avoided) family can be a blast. Not to mention a great excuse to travel somewhere new, or go back to a place you haven’t been since you were a kid.
You reminisce over old times and shared relatives, see different sides of people you’ve known or heard about your whole life (who knew Great Aunt Agnes used to ride a Harley?), and wonder how two distant cousins who’ve never met can have the same annoying laugh. But they can also be full-on, especially if you find yourself suddenly spending days with almost-strangers. Here’s how to get through it with your relationships (and sanity) intact.
1. Stay in a hotel
This tip’s optional, right? You’re family, after all, and can’t wait to spend some quality time together. Why not stay at someone’s house and save a bit of dosh?
No. NOOOOOO. Everyone needs their space, especially if you’re meeting people for the first time (or haven’t seen each other in years). Stay in a hotel to give yourself some breathing room so you enjoy the family time even more.
2. Bring a wingman
Misery (or weird social awkwardness) loves company, right? No, I’m teasing – you’re going to have a great time. But if thinking about all the introductions, re-introductions, and small talk makes you nervous, don’t be shy about bringing a close friend or partner. Bonus points if they’re a childhood friend, as your fam will probably be stoked to catch up with them too. Just make sure you get the organiser’s okay first.
3. Play a game (seriously)
Some grouchy grumps say they don’t like games. But to them I say phooey!The right game or activity will break the ice, create awesome new memories, and – worst case scenario – give everyone something to do if the conversation dries up. Simple games like charades and trivia are easy to organise – just plan teams and questions in advance. Or for something really special (like a day cruise or excursion), check out local tours and experiences.
4. Have an escape plan
Your reunion is going to be brilliant. Really! I’ve got a good feeling about it. But it doesn’t hurt to have an escape plan, just in case. I’d recommend two – a little one for escaping dodgy conversations (“Oh, yes, Uncle Joe, I’d love to see your boil. I just need to make a quick call first…”) and a big one on the off-chance thateverything goes pear-shaped (“The whole family’s going to perform an impromptu bagpipe recital? Wonderful! Let me get my pipes out of the car…”).
5. See the sights
Hey, it’s not all about the whole extended mega family. If you’re travelling for a reunion, make sure you leave some time to go exploring on your own, or with your partner or immediate family. ‘Cause if you’ve done the travel, you’ve earnt the sightseeing.
6. Stock up on Aussie treats
Going overseas for your reunion? This is where you can win some serious brownie points (or exact some serious revenge). Come prepared with a swag of iconic Aussie treats. Buy kids’ love with Caramello Koalas, suck up to your nan with Tim-Tams, or punish your jerk cousin with a spoonful of Vegemite. Because once a dobber, always a dobber.
7. Use name tags
Look, there’s no shame in this. You haven’t seen most of these people since you were knee-high to a (creepily human-sized) grasshopper, if ever. For big reunions, use different coloured tags for each branch of the family tree. And watch out for jokers who’ll try to spend the night under a different name. We see you there, “Rudiger”.
8. Brush up on your family tree
It’ll remind you who everyone is, plus they can be really interesting. If no-one in your family has traced yours, why not have a crack at doing it yourself? They look impressive, but are often super easy to start. You’ll look like a history whiz and be the hero of the reunion. Or second hero. After the person who brings the drinks 😉
BONUS! Three tips for starting your family tree
1. Sign up to a genealogy site
Sites like Ancestry.com often have free trial periods, and you’d be surprised how much you can learn in even a couple of hours. If you have British or European ancestry and know your parents’ birthdays and grandparents’ names, you’ve probably got enough to trace your fam back hundreds of years – seriously.
Genealogy sites are less helpful when your ancestry is not British or European, or if there’s a history of adoption ordonor conception in your family. But many of these sites offer DNA testing, which maps your unique ethnic heritage and – if you choose to upload your results – allows you to find distant rellies all over the world.
2. Learn your history
Okay, so you don’t have to hit the text books, but the more you know about where your family’s from or the time period you’re interested in, the more you’ll understand any info or records you find. Knowing your history will also give you some clues on where to find records and info if genealogy sites aren’t working for you.
3. Find more info
Found something really cool in your family tree, like a connection to a historical event, famous person, or murder? Awesome! But you’re going to need the full story if you really want to impress people. Dig around for old newspaper articles in archives like Trove or the British Newspaper Archive. Make sure you write down the names of the archives you’re searching in and the terms you’re using as you go, otherwise you might end upgoing around in circles.
Read more about your roots
