{"id":4316,"date":"2017-11-19T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2017-11-18T14:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/?p=4316"},"modified":"2020-04-02T05:34:36","modified_gmt":"2020-04-01T19:34:36","slug":"post-holiday-fails","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/laughs\/real-travel-stories\/post-holiday-fails\/","title":{"rendered":"15 ridiculous post-holiday fails in 24 hours"},"content":{"rendered":"

You know the feeling. It\u2019s your first day back at work and you\u2019re still in holiday mode. Maybe you\u2019re a little too\u00a0<\/em>relaxed. Maybe you\u2019ve got a touch (or a wallop) of jet lag. Whatever it is, your head\u2019s just not in the (work) game.<\/p>\n

Maybe you left it on a table somewhere\u2026(Camera Obscura, Edinburgh.)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
Mine\u2019s not. You see, I\u2019ve just come back from three weeks in the UK<\/a>,\u00a0and my jet-lagged brain is full of cotton wool and fairy floss. This made for a ridiculous first day back full of post-holiday fails. Re-live them with me, won\u2019t you? I guarantee they\u2019ll make your next first day back look a lot<\/em><\/strong> more productive.<\/div>\n


\n7.15am: <\/strong>Attempt to microwave porridge for brekkie, but set the timer to nine minutes instead of 90 seconds. Did you know that water and oats can burn? Mmm, rubbery.<\/p>\n

8am: <\/strong>Lose my work diary and notebook in what feels like a mystery fit for Sherlock Holmes. My incredibly thorough search involves walking to the study to look on my desk; walking to the lounge room to look on the coffee table; walking back to the study to look on my desk again; shrugging my shoulders and leaving for work. World\u2019s greatest detective, folks! But it\u2019s no big deal. I can live without my diary and notebook for a day, right?<\/p>\n

8.15am: <\/strong>Discover that my Opal card (Sydney\u2019s smart card travel pass) has disappeared. Naturally, I only notice at the train station, when my train\u2019s a minute away. Also naturally, my London Oyster card is still smack dab in the middle of wallet, mocking me. I pay extra for a single paper ticket and jump on the train. Later, I find the Opal card in my wallet, hiding behind a receipt (probably from an Oyster card top-up).<\/p>\n

8.55am:\u00a0<\/strong>In the lobby at work, I realise I don\u2019t have my pass to get into the office. Dammit! I go to the front desk and beg for a spare.<\/p>\n

9.05am: <\/strong>Make it to my desk. Rejoice! Now to log in\u2026 Wait, what\u2019s my password? Oh, that\u2019s OK, I wrote it down before I left. Thanks, Past Cassie! You\u2019re a genius. But where did I write it?<\/p>\n

In my work diary. The one that\u2019s missing. DOUBLE DAMMIT!<\/p>\n

I can\u2019t take it! The world\u2019s gone topsy-turvy. (Camera Obscura, Edinburgh.)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
<\/div>\n

9.05-10am: <\/strong>Spend my first hour back in the office with IT, trying to hack into my (ridiculously secure) computer. Flunk my security questions because I can\u2019t remember my grandmother\u2019s maiden name. Sorry,\u00a0Nan!<\/p>\n

10am: <\/strong>Recognising that I\u2019m not exactly firing on all cylinders, I decide to spend the day catching up on admin. Sounds easy, right? Not too taxing for my poor, foggy brain.<\/p>\n

Midday:\u00a0<\/strong>I say midday, but this really is a repeat offence. Multiple times throughout the day, I walk into a room and immediately forget why. Yeah, I know we all do that sometimes, but some of the things I forget are painfully obvious. For example –<\/p>\n

BRAIN: \u201cWhy did I come into the bathroom?\u201d
\n*Bladder almost explodes*
\nBRAIN: \u201cTo pee, Cassie. You came in here to pee.\u201d<\/p>\n

That could have been embarrassing\u00a0\ud83d\ude33<\/p>\n

2pm: <\/strong>Another repeat offence –\u00a0 I keep forgetting words. And not fancy ones, either. Halfway through a conversation, I\u2019ll draw a blank. In the middle of a writing a\u2026 uh\u2026 thingamie\u2026 Um\u2026 You know what I mean, right? The thing with the words? And the full-stops? Uhh\u2026<\/p>\n

Sentence! That\u2019s it!<\/p>\n

Did I mention I write for a living? Yeah\u2026<\/p>\n

3pm: <\/strong>At this point I\u2019ve spent most of the day working my way through my inbox. Suddenly, I realize I\u2019ve been screwing up my filing and have misfiled half of my emails. Bye-bye important correspondence from colleagues! We shall never meet again.<\/p>\n

4.45-5.15pm:<\/strong> The struggle to keep my eyes open is intense<\/em> and I almost fall asleep at my desk. I make a snuffling noise that might sound a little bit like a snore.<\/p>\n

In a completely, 100% not-at-all related coincidence, my manager gives me an early mark. Thanks,\u00a0Nic!<\/p>\n

Take me back, holidays. I can\u2019t do this \u2018work\u2019 thing. (Bolton Abbey, Yorkshire.)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n
<\/div>\n

6pm: <\/strong>I do NOT fall asleep on the train. Woohoo! But when I get home, I sit on the cat\u2019s tail. Fur parent fail. I\u2019m still trying to get back into her good books after going away for three weeks \ud83d\ude41<\/p>\n

6.30pm:<\/strong> My partner and I start to cook dinner, but discover that we\u2019ve forgotten to buy any vegetables. After three weeks of pints and scampi with chips, we\u2019re bordering on scurvy. But we\u2019re too tired to care.<\/p>\n

7pm: <\/strong>How the &^%# do I get into Netflix? Right now I have no idea how our TV works. I beg my partner to put on some cartoons, because tonight that\u2019s about all I can handle.<\/p>\n

9pm:<\/strong> Congratulate myself for staying up until an \u201cadult\u201d bedtime, even though I did it by watching My Little Pony<\/em>. But I don\u2019t have enough brain power to even follow that (to be fair, the Canterlot political system is fairly complex). Give up on life and send myself to bed in disgrace.<\/p>\n

Three days later and I\u2019m mostly back to normal. Mostly. There are still a few cobwebs to clear out of my head. But all these fails are a small price to pay for the wave of post-holiday chill<\/a>\u00a0that I\u2019m currently riding. And, really, what does it matter if the brain fog takes some time to clear away? I can always go on another\u00a0holiday \ud83d\ude1b<\/p>\n

So long, Real Life!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You know the feeling. It\u2019s your first day back at work and you\u2019re still in holiday mode. Maybe you\u2019re a little too\u00a0relaxed. Maybe you\u2019ve got a touch (or a wallop) of jet lag. Whatever it is, your head\u2019s just not in the (work) game. Mine\u2019s not. You see, I\u2019ve just come back from three weeks …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":4321,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[756,760],"tags":[],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4316"}],"version-history":[{"count":24,"href":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4365,"href":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4316\/revisions\/4365"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4321"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4316"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4316"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wotif.com\/vc\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4316"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}